Sunday, January 17, 2010

Spider Senses Of Haters

There is three things that I look forwarded to in life: getting my first kiss, finishing college without harming the financial aid building at Prairie View A&M, and my soul mate asking to marry him. Well I got my first kiss to a guy that wasn’t that amazing, I finished college without going to jail, and last year, Caleb, a man that I am head over heels for, asked me to marry him, by the lake where we are going to build our dream home at, later on in life. So I’m on cloud 9 that whole weekend. I called my friends and family; I looked at my ring about a thousand times, and already registered to about 3 wedding websites. I was just plain happy, well until I go to my Monday night gin card game. See I love playing gin, my friend Jennifer, started a gin league 2 years ago and asked me to join. Of course I would join, playing gin after a stressful Monday, and hanging out with my best Latina friend Jennifer, that’s just plain prefect. And with martinis added to the fun, can always make a girl smile. So when you sit with a group of females, with nice drinks on deck, of course you’re going to talk about your day, your weekend, basically everything what is going on in your life. And most of the time, we talk about men and our relationships. See I don’t brag about my relationship, why do such thing, I know that I’m happy, so I keep it to myself, because of the fact of, there isn’t a reason for people think I’m rubbing it at your face. But my hater, Rebecca, she talked about her man ALL the time. Her man was her life, her savior, her everything, but her man was questionable. He was still married, still living with his wife, and didn’t seem to want to leave, even though they looked at Tiffany rings after the first year of dating. But if she was happy with that life, then I’m not going to stop her, I would throw in some advice and see if she catches it, and if not, then that’s her. I’m here to play the game of gin, not here to start drama. So the weekend after the big engagement, I kind of wanted to calm it down, but I had to show Jennifer the ring and do the jump up and down dance with her since I’m about to ask her to be a bridesmaid. She saw, she screamed in Spanish, we danced, and then I felt my hand being pulled to the far left. I saw Rebecca looking at my ring, eyes wide open. Others from the league heard Jennifer scream and circled us, of course I had to tell everyone my story, and I got the corny “Awwww”, you got to love the corniness. After I told how he asked me, we did our corniness for another couple of minutes, I grab my martini glass, declared a round of gin, and we begin. We were talking about the new collections of shoes from Nine West, and Rebecca stop and said

“Monique, are you ready to get married for real? I mean he is younger than you.”

My spider senses of hate started to hit me, but hell, it’s probably a false alarm, maybe she is concerned friend, even though I didn’t think of her as one. So I answered her, saying that Caleb is only 3 years younger than me, and he has common sense to know what he is doing before he jumps to a big deal called marriage. She gave me a look like she was about to throw up. I guess she didn’t like that answer, which I didn’t understand, because it was an answer that should have work for her. O well, back to gin, and about to beat Jennifer for the first time in my Life!

“But Monique, don’t you want to enjoy your single life a little bit more? I mean hell, why rush in to marriage now?”

Spider senses of Hate, which now I will call the SSH, hit me hard enough I didn’t pick up the 9 of hearts I needed to beat Jennifer. Damn it, no talking trash this hand. Then I explain that I have enjoyed my single life for a while now, and even though it was a fun but yet soap opera scripted life, it was time to give it up to be with the man I love, her face looked like someone grab her foot and bite her big toe hard. Then she was quiet for a while. The next hand was passed out, after Jennifer winning, as usual. Then after 30 minutes the last jab was thrown.

“Well I know when I get married; I’m getting the same ring as yours but, going to get that 4 carat diamond. That’s what my boyfriend said to me. So yall better watch out, because that’s going to be a REAL ring”

What the hell? My SSH told me to hit her with a chair now, and tell her to shut up after the fact. Well in hell would you say that to me, be happy that I’m getting married, I mean its hard right now to find a good man, give me this night to celebrate the fact that a good man wants me for life, not the fact that your man hasn’t asked you to marry you, or even left his wife for you yet. It is not my fault that your relationship status is fucked up. It is not my fault that you pick the wrong men, so why start hating on me? But happy for me, and if your jealous, just say that you are, and we can continue to play gin. I won’t rub it in, hell, I wouldn’t care that you were jealous, that’s called emotions. I’m jealous because you have that new Coach Purse, o well, let’s live life.

See haters, they don’t know how to live and breathe normal life. They look at your life, and are pissed because it should work out for them. Instead of fixing their life so they can be happy, they will start to hate. It’s like they don’t know how to improve their life, so they want your life to go down the fire so they can welcome to their horrible world of negative. Then, everything they see, or do, it’s because they want to make you jealous of them, and if that emotion isn’t knowledge, then they will start to hate. They will buy a new car, you will say “That’s a new car, I love it” but if you don’t say those words “That’s a nice, new car, I am jealous of this item” that’s when they will rub it in for another 10 minutes, un like me when I don’t have time to rub it in. Their life needs that high, that, “I’m better than you” cocaine. Being humble isn’t their vocabulary, but being negative is. Then went you get caught up in their hate spider web, they will slowly whisper in your ear. See that’s what Rebecca was trying to do in my ear, spin her hate silk tangle web. If you have a better life, they will try to make sure that life will disappear by giving you shitty advice. “Your man hasn’t given you roses in a while? Girl he is cheating on you” kind of advice. A lot of people fall in that web of none concern and we think it’s a friendship advice, not just a female that hates on you and give you shitty information. I know for a fact that Rebecca has done this before to some of the females at our gin league. Give advice, relationships fall, men are confused of why their ladies are pissed, and they don’t tell them their real reason why their girl is fighting about roses, it’s because there is a crazy woman whispering in their ear, and don’t have a SSH. Then at the end of the day, she won, everybody else lose. Her life, her relationship problems doesn’t seem as bad because, at least it’s not as bad as yours. That is all it matters at the end. She got her high, life is complete. But for me, I’m not going to fall for that. I know that my relationship is good; I know my friends will give me their honest opinion, and I know my life doesn’t need a hater. But what about you, reader, do you have a hater in your life, and don’t know how to get rid of them? Here is your answer: ignore them! Ignore what they have to say, or do, and then it will piss them off to the point that they have nothing to do with you, they can’t get their high from you, and then they will go to their next victim. They will not talk to you anymore, because they will never your true friend anyway. If they were your friend, they will fight to keep your friendship. A hater doesn’t have the time or that emotion to be humble to care. They will pop up every now and then to say their part to see if you will get caught up, but give up quicker than usual because it is too much time and effort to continue the fight. And if they start a rumor about you, make the people that really care about your will begin clear about the rumor and just move around. The people that do care will believe you, not a little hater.

So after that night of hating, and me know giving a damn about she said, she would try one more night, and then without any shots fired back, she stop. Then she stops talking me all together. That was 6 months ago. What a peaceful time. Finally beat Jennifer in gin too. But now that the wedding is closer, she is slowly trying again…let’s see what will happen next..


  1. Girl haters aren't born, they're made. They hate because good shit won't happen to them. Great read, and you were the bigger woman to not fire shots back at that witch. :-)

  2. Haters let you know that your life is going right! You are blessed and she is just settling for less. That's her fault, not yours. I am happy for you. That sad little female can go wallow in self pitty and watch you live your life.