Saturday, February 20, 2010

Men Simple, yet Hard

Men are simple but yet hard to explain. That’s a weird thing to say for a starting sentence, but it is true. I should know, out of my best friend list of 5 people, 2 of them are men. And those men are simple but hard to explain their actions. I said that phrase to a group of women today, when they were talking about their men and why haven’t they asked to marry them, and I got a reaction that, I could say was, mixed.

A woman said: No they are not simple to understand, they do not know what they want. That’s why they don’t want to get marriage or even have a stable relationship!

Well, I can vouch that men do know what they want in life. They want to be successful. That’s it. Watch any movie about men, any mob movie, and movie that has most of the population of men in it, its about them trying to be successful, or die trying. Or ask a man why they do illegal things to get money, they do it to one day get enough money so they can say that they are successful. Why do men put rims on their cars, or even have gold teeth, that prove that they did something so big and great that it earn them enough money to be successful to get those items. We women do the same with the Coach purses, and the Gucci shoes, but it’s not the same. Before a man decides to have a stable relationship to the point of marriage, then they need to be successful. Point Blank. Us women, we want to get married even if the success level isn’t there yet. Don’t get mad about that statement, because we know it’s true. Men need to feel like they can take care of you always. It is in their genes. They have always been taught that they are the bread winners and that even though the woman is making money too, that they can provide for you just in case something goes wrong. That will always be in that mind set. So if you’re in a relationship, and they don’t have a job, or they are not trying to get some money in their hand, they are not about to marry you. And if they want to get married to you, then you are not about to marry a man, you’re about to marry a person that wants you to take care of him so later on in life, he can leave you, with all the things you taught him, and find him another woman to show off his successful trait.

Being with a man that wants to grow, and is trying to be a better man by going to college, and getting a job that will make him proud is great but you have to bare with him. That’s the hard part, the waiting for a ring. You want it now; especially if you think the time is right. And it’s hard to explain why it’s time to a man, because in a man’s head, he thinks that, why is this woman rushing me if I’m not ready. Then it gets harder, and can’t be explained. He knows when he going to get married, then he will tell you. If you ask him after a year of dating and he barely just got his new job, then you’re not going to like the answer to his question, and it gets hard for you. He isn’t going to drag on the relationship for the rest of his life, if he really wants to marry you so you have to give it time. If you can’t wait, get a hobby, learn how to sew, take a cooking class, something that will get your mind out of wondering if he is going to ask you. Because the more you sit on that statement “This ninja is never going to marry me.” We as a woman go crazy, and when we go crazy we take it out of our men. Then it gets hard for the man, and then it’s hard to explain the actions afterward. There you have it. In black and white. Take the advice or leave it, but someone gave me that advice two years ago, and I should send that person a fruit basket, or bake some brownies.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

When is Being Yourself a Bad Thing?

The other day my cousin came to visit me, and the first thing I wanted to do is slap the crap out of her. She had black and red lace front weave, a pink, low cut shirt that said “Barbie”, which would even make a nun blush, with booty shorts on (mind you it’s 30 degrees outside) and a fake black fur coat. She became a damn Barbie, a person of the Nicki Minaj army of clones, and girl that in my book is a cheap as hell. I have taught her better than that!! Instead of preaching from jump, I have decided to let it go, until she opened her mouth. We were talking being a diva and she smacks her lips and said

“I’m a Diva, and I’m only 20, I demand respect, and I get it!”

Huh?! Respect?! Dressed like a Barbie?! No ma’am! So I went off, I had to, my brain couldn’t take her fakeness anymore, and this is what I said:

Being something that is a trend doesn’t automat ally gain you a “diva” status, this is earned, I’m not even in that status yet. Being a diva to me is someone that has been though the world; ups and downs without letting it get to you. That means you don’t hide yourself in a different face like a “Barbie” to deal with your troubles, you deal with your troubles and overcome it with a positive outlook.

My cousin rolled her eyes and said:

“Girl, please, being proud of your body like me, isn’t negative, its positive, that’s why I get attention. I’m not hiding from no one, I’m gaining a lot. That’s why I know I’m a diva, I’m proud of myself”

Me, being, me, laughed at the comment, and said:

Being proud of yourself, means that you show yourself and others that you feel this way. Wearing slutty clothes, and bouncing around in the middle of club doesn’t give you positive attention, it gives you’re the ‘she is just an easy fuck’ attention. See men doesn’t just see you and say “Hey behind that Barbie clothes and makeup, she will be the mother of my children” They will see you as “a easy lay, or a one date at the soul food restaurant and then back seat action” Men doesn’t have that power to see your soul, men just sees your appearance and go from there. That’s why I know for a fact that you don’t have pride for yourself, because if you did, you wouldn’t put yourself in that version.

My cousin didn’t like that statement and needed to find something to say back to shut me up, ah how about the fact that since I wasn’t raised in the hood, I’m not real enough speech. I won’t go to details about the speech, because every time I hear it, I lose brain cells, but the short version of it is: since I’m not from the hood, I wouldn’t understand that its different to find a man there and that she was raised to be like this, so she has to do what she can to gain this respect to get what she wants.

I hate this speech, because it hurts me in a different way than she thinks. It hurts me because she was taught that being a slut, dressing like a slut, or even being a slut sometimes will get you far in this world, and that what she is doing isn’t being a slut. Her role models are the females on TV that are getting the most attention at the time like Ms. Minaj, or the females around the block, that get men to play for their light bill that month. But you have to understand that Nicki Minaj is selling sex right now to get more records sold, and your friend around the block at to screw that man a lot to the point of trapping him to pay for that bill. But later on in life, when Ms. Minaj turns 40, no one wants to see her tits anymore, and may see her in a Young Money reunion on BET, and that female on the block, well either she will live off warfare, too lazy to get a job, wonder why her life is hard, and blame everyone else but yourself. Being these so called “Role Models” because you say it’s the only way to get attention from the men in your hood, then you need to get out of your hood, so you can grow. If they only respect you because of your sexual ways then you need to quit hanging out with those people. They get the word respect mixed up with the word easy. They don’t want to please someone that takes hard work to be with, and being with an easy girl, means easy way to keep, which means they can treat you any kind of way. That’s why I would never make it in her world, and it hurts me because she really believes in this.

Here is the thing ladies and gentlemen, being someone in the entertainment world, isn’t going to get you far in the real world. You have to be YOURSELF! Going on the internet and showing off your tits because you want that attention high, well bite you in the ass later on in life. Use that COMMON SENSE that is in your mind to be a better you. You can’t be someone else to gain something better, that’s life. And if you need to follow someone in your life, find a classy, well rounded person that didn’t need to throw sex at someone to gain ground. I follow Sade sometimes because she never had to be crazy, or a stereotypical person to get far in life. She was Sade, and she never changed to gain more people to love her, she was, well, herself.

My cousin after we had our talk, she walked out of my house pissed because from just her outfit, I went off. Maybe because I’m tired of seeing our women going down the toilet because they feel they can’t get by without being something negative. That by just wearing a Barbie shirt, or having “five star chick” tatted on their chest would somehow get them far, rather than being their selves. My mother always told me that if you’re being someone else, how someone would even know the true you. I rather have people know that I’m an ‘anime loving, football crazy, sushi martini adoring, and true hip hop listening’ nerd any day. Have a good day everyone!

P.S. Nicki Minaj is a pretty good rapper, so I’m not dissing her. I’m just upset that she helping women become something that they shouldn’t.